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  • Writer's pictureCamp Goldston Publishing, LLC


Do you serve yourself before others? Do you serve yourself at all? Have we been conditioned to give more to others than ourselves? The answer is many times a resounding yes. We have always been told to give more than we receive and to think of others first because that is the moral and humane way of life. However, in constant retrospect, we have been not only depleting every ounce of our energy by sending it out to others first, but I also believe we have done a disservice to those receiving it from us. Ooh, how dare I say that. We are told to give, give, and not take. This method of giving is the recipe for making a good human being. I am boldly saying that is wrong. Growing up in the South, I was taught that to think of ourselves first was being selfish, and mercy me, goodness gracious, we can not be selfish people. So I am inherently now giving you permission to be selfish. To clear up the confusion, let me provide more details.

So what do serving and service mean anyway? According to, one of the meanings of service (to serve) is “an act of helpful activity; help; aid.” By this definition, we usually consider service as times when we are helping others. Most of us love to help others. So why would I advise you to be selfish? Let’s dive into the energy field world we all know I love so much. We have heard many times that you get what you give or reap what you sow. But how are we reaping and sowing? And why would I want you to reap selfishness? Yikes, right?

Let’s start with the fact that you and I are energy fields of flowing frequency. Our thoughts send out electrical impulses, and our emotions magnetize and bring back to us the matching experiences. So say the geniuses, everything in our universe is frequency (energy). So, aren’t we receiving back service if we are sending out service? And where does self-serving come into this play? Now, this is where it gets serious.

When you are constantly giving without self-care or self-service, you are a depleted vessel, and your energy field is flowing with routine and exhaustion. Therefore, self-care is essential to present our best selves to those receiving. Most of us also want to give with loving thought and emotion from a place of genuine compassion and love. If we are depleted, then depletion and lack are the thoughts sent out and the emotions received back. When we practice a little of that selfishness, we cultivate the most loving thoughts and emotions from which we can pour into whatever and whoever is to be the recipient. These thoughts will send signals and bring back the most loving experiences.

As an example of how I practice selfishness, let me tell you one of my favorite ways to serve. I am a Reiki Master, and I adore giving Reiki to others. Reiki’s beautiful and peaceful practice has been one of my favorite life experiences. For me to offer my recipients the best experience, I need to be focused, centered, connected to my energy stream, and present to serve them. I make time for myself to meditate to keep myself centered and focused. I take time to rest when I need to so that I am not a rushed mess. I take time to practice self-care Reiki to open my energy flow. I always schedule sessions when I know I will have some clearing time and focusing time beforehand. I drink water to hydrate to promote easier flow as the energy moves through the body. These are a few ways that I am selfish to serve to the best of my ability. I wish for my recipients to receive the best, and I need to be selfish to deliver the best.

Self-care is requisite for service. There you have it; selfishness is necessary. You are an essential part of the service mode. Take care of yourself so that you can offer your services from a place of authentic compassion, and these experiences will be circled back to you as such.

If you would like to learn more about your energy field of frequencies and how to create your life on purpose, you can visit my website at I have some free resources there to get you started and also links to my best-selling Amazon book, Vibrational Badassery: The Beginner’s Guide” In this mini-book, I go into detail about what your flow is, how it flows and where it flows. Grab your copy to read more about intentionally creating your life experiences. Your Life is Your Flow and Always Your Choice


M. LaRae, M. Sc. 

Metaphysician, Author, and Motivational Speaker, 

M. LaRae is passionate about helping others understand their vibrational field. Specializing in Quantum Reset, she guides you to realizing your energetic potential and unleashing your Vibrational Badassery. Your life is yours to create, and she wants to help you create it your way. 


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