Dealing with the “C” Word
“Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.”
What is this C word? While it could stand for a number of things and elements, I chose 3 words for this article to justify the connection of heart and mind: care, closure, and conflict. Before going into my perception about closure let’s just try to understand the above mentioned three terms.
Care: Most of the time, when one goes through a rocky relationship or is nurturing a broken heart, the one question always arises is, “ Why do I care?” Love is blind and love is helpless. And if we do not care –what are we doing?
This step is probably first and foremost in creating a setback to move forward. On the verge of moving on from a broken relationship, one keeps coming back, holding on to the past. This is one of the few elements that holds one back in becoming a new person. Closure or finality of a relationship is often not reached as expected due to the prolonged care still being alive and the subconscious wish of getting back in the relationship might not have died down totally.
Conflict: Moving on to the next step or towards the future seems easy but in real life the constant conflict of past wounds creates the dilemma of hanging in between for no good reason. Sometimes a relationship ends abruptly and hence, one might seek an explanation of what went wrong.
The feelings of anger, fear, hurt and frustration creates the circumstances for this emotional conflict. It is important to understand that emotion can overcome logic, which means emotional issues can become more important than substantive issues. Positive emotions help to solve the conflict while negative impact creates conflict. Hence, in this situation, it is important to empathize with self and try to recreate one’s mind frame in a much less emotionally threatened manner.
Closure: We seek closure from the other person without understanding that it is very much present within us. When a relationship ends abruptly without reaching its finality, we seek closure from others but forget to come to terms with ourselves. However, while seeking emotional closure the following could be done:
Give yourself time
Do not shut yourself from the world
Do not hold back
Learn to live again
Let’s just discuss the above-mentioned points briefly. Everything happens for a reason and nothing changes overnight. To nurture a broken heart or to make a new beginning it takes time. Let time do the healing.
Instead of blaming the other person for mistreating you, take the responsibility to come to terms with the situation. Instead of shutting yourself off from the world, indulge in some fun activity; reconnect with old friends, travel just to keep you diverted from the pain. Allow love to pour in. It is important to forgive and let go, as anger hurts you. Last, but not least, learn to live again.
Another important word is CHOICE. It’s your life so make your choices wisely. Stop going back to the emotional details of time spent together. The power of right choice will lead one to the right path. Wisdom always chooses to do now what we will be satisfied with later on.
Indrani is from the “city of joy” Kolkata , India. However she has been living in the United States since 2005 and at present she is based in Las Vegas, Nevada. She holds an MBA degree from University Of North Alabama. She is the business lead for major manufacturing company. She is passionate about poetry and literature and other forms of arts like music and cinema . She enjoys her happy hour with her friends and often takes on adventurous outings or vacations, which include rafting , base jump or skydiving . To sum up , her life is measured by “3 F’s namely fun, food, and friends .