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  • Writer's pictureCamp Goldston Publishing, LLC

Fear vs. “That Voice”


This was a lesson in the process of managing fear so I can hear what I need at all times. We must learn to capture these understandings for daily use…maybe even to save our own lives.

I wasn’t afraid but cautious and vigilant. I surveyed the room again for possibly forgotten items as I gripped the handle of my purple rolling suitcase and unlocked the door. I left the key on the bed as instructed and stepped into the hall area with other doors to rooms like mine. I am the only movement and sound. A few paces and I quietly open a heavier door that leads to a larger hallway. I feel the heavy door click behind me, as I look toward the sole 100-year-old elevator in the building. It takes me down to the main floor. I exit and head for the door that leads to the street. It’s almost 5am. It’s still dark. I am walking nine minutes to the Roma Termini station to catch a 5:30 am airport shuttle to the Ciampino Airport in Rome, Italy.

The few I see out are moving swiftly towards their destinations–as do I. As I arrive at the Termini I do not see the shuttle bus. I wait. Five minutes…nine minutes…no bus. Other buses arrive and depart. None of the Information Stands have opened yet. The fear begins.


Roman Taxis

I start running as I suddenly remember there is a back part of the station. Maybe my bus is there. The station is long. It is 5:20. I arrive out of breath and see no bus. The panic ensues.

An older Italian man appears speaking in broken English. “The bus left you,” he announces. He continues, “I will take you to airport. Which airport you need?” I say, “Ciampino. How much?” He replies, “30 euros” and motions for me to follow him. There was much missing my attentions. I follow him.

The front of his cab is parked away from first sight. As we neared it “a still small voice” says,

“Walk to the front of the car” I walked passed the passenger door and to the front. I gasped! The

whole front end of the car was missing. The same voice follows with “look at the top of the car”.

I look and find no “Taxi’ sign atop the car. My fear turns to anger as I direct a steely glare at him on the driver’s side and growl repeatedly “WHERE IS YOUR SIGN?” He keeps hollering, “GET IN CAR—I TAKE YOU TO AIRPORT”. After our loud exchanges I return to the main station entrance.

Angry with him and myself, the onslaught of thoughts of what could have been my potential demise was stifling. When I didn’t see my bus or was able to make inquiries I became fearful. I commenced running up and down the station because fear instructs us to “DO SOMETHING”. I wanted someone to direct me so I created a willing vessel to speak to my fears and perhaps more BUT the universe provides protections/warnings in the midst of the separation.

As I re-approached the station I notice something I previously missed—a group of taxi cabs with attached front ends and “Taxi” signs on top. The drivers were sipping coffee and reading the morning paper as they waited for passengers. They were always there. I had to complete this process.

I choose a driver and agree to 30 euros. He gathers my bag into the car (the other guy didn’t attempt to help me with my suitcase) and we depart. Silvio was a kind, older Italian gentleman. He taught me some Italian, told me how pretty I was and helped put me back in place. Whenever my mind would go to dark places he would say something to distract my thoughts. It’s amazing what angels know!

We arrived at the airport early. I paid Silvio, got my bag, and gave him a hug. Check-in to Barcelona had not begun. I sat down…took a few moments to be quiet…be grateful…say thank you…for all there is, was, and will ever be.

Yes, I called my credit card company and reversed the shuttle payment. Amen!



-Sonja Mathis

Sonja is a native of Atlanta and reformed Southern Baptist. Her travels include the US, Canada, Africa, Europe and Asia (next stop Australia or wherever spirit presents). She studied classical ballet for 13 years, piano not as long, the stock market and insurance for 20 years, business for 4 years in college, long distance hiking for 7 years, and a student of Truth principles for almost 20 years. She is a financial counselor for active duty military, educators, young professionals and seniors. She currently serves as spiritual leader of Unity of Tuscaloosa in Alabama.


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